Conflict is Healthy…
Conflict is Healthy…
Do you ever measure your relationships by conflict? “We never argue that means are relationship is good”. The idea that conflict is somehow bad is misleading, sure we don’t want relationships that are constantly in conflict but by the same measure we should also be watchful of the ones that have none.
Now when talking about relationships I don’t only mean romantic ones, all relationships are in focus here. A level of conflict is necessary and dare I say it, normal.
Let’s look at some of the reasons we may avoid conflict…
How was it managed when you were small?
How did people around you disagree?
Was it angrily? aggressively?
Did the other person make you feel punished?
These experiences can colour how we feel about disagreements or conflicts, make us feel uncomfortable voicing how we feel for fear of the other person’s reaction.
But conflict is part of all relationships. Even healthy relationships will have some conflict. However, many people tend to avoid conflict because it causes them pain. Once the conflict is resolved it can bring closeness and respect, and can allow couples to discuss and resolve issues within the relationship. Extensive research has demonstrated that conflict, when managed properly, strengthens relationships and teams and can serve as a catalyst for better solutions, innovation and growth.
Conflict avoidance is not healthy for any relationship, because it only intensifies the issues, it doesn't help in solving the problem and then it leads to further issues in the long run. It will increase emotional stress for an individual which will eventually bring differences in the relationship, lead to resentments and have a lasting impact on how we feel.
Arguments in relationships are normal. When you are able to work through conflict together, intimacy can deepen. However, when you or your partner handle conflict by avoiding it altogether. Although things may seem fine on the surface, anger, resentment, and bitterness can be brewing underneath. In fact, avoiding conflict can cause many problems in your relationship and can weaken your connection.